Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
