the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
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