Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
