i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
