he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Randomize
