your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
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