I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
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