I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
