I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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