so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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