so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
