I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Randomize
