I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
