By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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