tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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