why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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