Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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