Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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