That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
