that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
