Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
