Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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