Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize