I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
