So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
