I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Randomize
