other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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