but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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