Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Randomize
