I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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