He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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