Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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