he wants to bone in the snuggie
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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