Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize
