Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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