Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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