She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Randomize
