dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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