i just made my gag reflex go away.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
