oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize