i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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