I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
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