this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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