SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
