she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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