Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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