can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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