on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
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