Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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