pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
They are going to name an STD after you.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize