Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(480): View more from Arizona

We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.

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(480): We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie. http://tfl.nu/xse4

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...

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(781): I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer... http://tfl.nu/rcmz

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(229): View more from Georgia

College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant

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(229): College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant http://tfl.nu/1flc

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(860): View more from Connecticut

there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes

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(860): there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes http://tfl.nu/0fsj

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(765): View more from Indiana

we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.

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(765): we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright. http://tfl.nu/328h

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(860): View more from Connecticut

She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.

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(860): She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused. http://tfl.nu/7uxa

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(707): View more from California

They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven

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(707): They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven http://tfl.nu/tpek

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(574): View more from Indiana

Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?

(1-574): View more from Indiana

Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.

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(574): Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for? (1-574): Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina. http://tfl.nu/l0nz

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(512): View more from Texas

He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.

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(512): He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips. http://tfl.nu/61sy

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(205): View more from Alabama

I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS

(205): View more from Alabama

THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT

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(205): I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS (205): THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT http://tfl.nu/3e0n

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(479): View more from Arkansas

It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.

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(479): It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule. http://tfl.nu/n9xy

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(224): View more from Illinois

Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...

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(224): Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex... http://tfl.nu/9y7e

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(240): View more from Maryland

I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.

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(240): I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator. http://tfl.nu/kcd0

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.

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(617): somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic. http://tfl.nu/55u8

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(702): View more from Nevada

Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.

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(702): Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself. http://tfl.nu/5shw

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