apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.