Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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