she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
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I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
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Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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