WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
