I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Pants are for mortals
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Randomize
