I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
im six kinds of drunk right now
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Vodka?
Forever.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
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