careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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