What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
