Kiss
Puke
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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