I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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