I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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