i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Randomize
